Many of us have out of this world perceptions and beliefs about finding love. There is just so much fascination about it to the point that topics on love attract everyone’s attention even in the movies, books, songs, stories, and the like. Even if we deny it, somewhere inside of us lies hopeless romantic hearts carefully, patiently, and not to mention – painstakingly, waiting for that moment to finally meet the one.
We grew up with the concept of a soulmate. According to Richard Bach, our soulmate is the one with locks which perfectly fit our keys and keys which exactly fit in our locks. It is through unlocking these locks that we finally get to be our true selves, living blissfully in love. Isn’t this what everybody truly desires?
The soul mate paradigm can raise your expectations to an impossible level, ironically making you feel less satisfied with your partner overall. — Samantha Rodman Ph.D.
However, did you know that mythologies and ancient beliefs have really out-of-this-world theories about how we came to this point of looking for our soulmate? Here are three of them:
- Four-Legged Monsters
In Plato’s Symposium, Aristophanes described the story about human beings initially having two faces, four hands, and four legs. They were very fast and were becoming powerful so the gods were threatened that sooner or later, humans might take over and steal the authority of the gods.
Subsequently, Zeus, the king of Greek gods, split the humans into half. Humans were then left in misery as they spend their lifetime searching for their other halves. This belief may have a connection with people’s common notion that their partners are their “other half” who completes them.
In Theosophy, there is a belief that humans were created as androgynous beings who eventually split into two genders. They reincarnate over and over, but because of karma, they don’t easily find their ways back together. Only once they have fulfilled their debts, according to their karma, would they find their twin soul. That’s when they get back and live together for eternity.
couples try to maintain an ersatz version of their initial love through a “fantasy bond,” replaying romantic words and gestures that lack authenticity and vulnerability. — Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT
Contrary to the first example, twin souls are already complete in and by themselves. However, the story of reincarnation and multiple chances to search for love could be related to the natural journey of going through so much before finally finding the person to spend life with.
- Red String Of Connection
This belief that came from Japan claims that there is an invisible red thread from your heart to your pinky finger, but it doesn’t end there. That red string extends all the way to another person, your soulmate, thereby connecting you also to their heart. This red string may be twisted and turned but will never be cut off between two people who have been destined by fate to meet and be together.
It may be rooted in the undying belief that there’s someone out there destined to be with you regardless of your circumstances. This belief is anchored on the claim that from the beginning, someone may have already been set apart for you, and no one could cut that bond.
The opposite of the soulmate theory is the “work-it-out” theory held by people who believe that good relationships depend not so much on the partner’s characteristics as on how much effort they are willing to invest in hashing through the inevitable differences in a relationship. Such effort can help them overcome challenges, allowing them to grow together as a couple as they make their way through adversity. — Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph.D.
Whether true or not, these beliefs which we may all have a share of our own only complements our journey towards finding the right people for us. They were never meant to be the absolute rules since no two love stories are the same. So wherever you are, whatever you believe in, and whomever you wish to be with, remember that your love will always be extraordinary in itself. Live it and love it!